2023 (Jan)

 1)Red wine drifting into the mind. Sluggish start. Fried breakfast helped. Trip to Lucia's to see twin babies. Joyful. Reluctant run in evening bluster. Felt great after. Started reading The Myth Of Normal and Lessons. Was very happy to read The Sea of Tranquility over Christmas time. Had a great smoked haddock dinner. Was lovely to call Paulė this new years eve.

2) First Monday. Planned a review for Giedrė's class. Applied for a job or two. Felt good to be set up, but slowly. Then the best part came. An enchanting sunshine allowed for two hours outside. First on a wild hike with Mum up the hill and around the falls, spring, sheep, turbines. Then a 7km run along the canal, taking in animals and lots of oxygen. Evening; saw a great 1997 film called Taste of Cherry. Mellow mood.

3) Few classes back. Nothing major. Started to crack the nut of Lessons by Ian McEwan. So British. So brilliant. Crazy shit in the news from Prince Harry. Who the fuck does he think he is? None stop rain here, don't seem to mind as it sounds good on an attic window. Akvilė back on the class. Great to see her.  In terms of music, just been listening to a lot of ambient so far.

4) In terms of investment, it's gonna be a hard one knowing what to do with stock, crypto, commodities - I'm thinking I should do a bit in each - even though I earn next to nothing. With Dogecoin being down at -34% at the time of writing, I'm trapped into a hold situation. Thinking of putting money into gold or silver, as well as diversifying an investment portfolio.

5) Pissing rain here. Really constant. It's nice when you're upstairs in an attic room, but running outside can be a challenge in this.  Feeling good about January and what it brings. Good to stay-put and hold onto everything you have. No point in reaching for the stars.

6) The novel has been coming along pretty well. It's make or break time this year, with the need to get this done by hitting the ground running. Finding a way. Seems to make sense to have a bit of pose, bit of poetry and some correspodence - first person for the win - much easier to write. Want to experiment with form a bit more.

7) Great day visiting Grandma and Paul. Uncle Craig was there too. Lots of sandwiches. Classic stories about a dog getting on a bus and a shire horse going into someone's flat. Family time helps - it's good to have it for an extended time. Won't be around forever.

8) Banksy in Manchester - quite an experirnce to be fair, as the novel wasn't goin in at all as the parents cleared out the cupboards in the attic. Was nice to take a train to somwehere and that somewhere was Manchester. Had a nice time exploring Salford and Media City - utopian media centrale. Had to wait a while, but once in - on the last ticket of the whole expo (!) I was in and out in 30 mins. Quick blast of Primal Scream and Bronski Beat. Great paintings and then home. Had some Gregs and then home for Happy Valley - you can't fuck with it.

9)Was exhausted after a patchy sleep but taught a class and attended a seminar for resume writing. It was alright, something about transferable skills and being modern. I think I'll just keep on, keeping on to be fair. Think I friend some sea bass with some vegetbales and mashed some potatoes. Been typing some stuff for the novel as well, but I need to go in, full-on deeper.

10)Tanya told me that the moon was in a bad place - that certainly feels like the case after bad sleep. Today was my first real day back at work and it's always a fun time teaching the prosecutors. Furthermore, it's CGI's last week - things transitioning over time. Thinking back to some of the classic courses I've had, I'd have to say Brita in Taiwan, Business English @  Davids, the legendry Mon and Wed conversation class that ran a few years, Ralf and Rolf + others at Bosch - as well as the engineers at Scwieberdingen, Altechna in Vilnius and the business ladies....

11) With Paulė in Egypt, I'm thinking about how the warmth will be good for her. Pictures of the desert makes me wish I was there, seeing something different, but right now is not the time. My heart is singing for the girl - wishing I had that togetherness, but sobering up has come along right now in my life and I need to keep to this plan and return to her the best I am, the best will you be. Yoda.

12) Making said girl a winter warmers mix as we speak. D'Angelo is playing. It's the second song after The Growth Eternal - it's gonna rule. At the time of writing, she's been a bit down in the dumps so I'm gonna try and pick this up. Listening back, it's a recorded on-site in Manchester from the streets, featuring blood-red-moons and earth angels. It sounds pretty amazing, even if I do say so myself.

13) End of week shit. Said goodbye to the CGI groups and that was that. Good times. Friday and record release day and disappointing first impressions of Margo Price, James Yorkston and Gaz Coombes. Best put them to one side and enjoy Lucas Santtana - Brazilian tropicalia at it's finest. Good shenanigans. 2020 was Madlib for the first great LP of the year and last year Bonobo. Well here it's Santtana. Just a different one.

14)Nice day in Leeds with the family. Took 2 hours to get these. Museums and a nice Thai meal. Want to go back. Beautiful girl checking meout at the table. Tempting to go back but at the end just bought some Jasmine Tea for my Mum and got out of there. Sometimes you've just gotta do what's right.  Two weeks sober now - have truly broken the record and it feels great.

15) Unnaural feeling at Lucia's local pub - baby slipped through the high-chair and everyoe shaken aback - noone more than Dad, so it was to the local shopping center - very local, to get some bacon. Coming back later to the family home was nice with babies and everything, but something was missing - luckily a personal best distance of 12.5 km was the crowning light. Family even got worried that I'd gone out too long after dark!

16) Drove to the hospital only to get the wrong day. Luckily Steve was chill with that but the drive back was amazing in the snow. Like the end of the world on a Monday. After that, just a lesson with Giėdre - but that small something is a thing for the day. Even if it's just dabbing the cloth wet - you've done something. You've managed to feed the pigs, but they're just getting fattened up.

17) Today was the day of a sound-bath meditation thing. The lady giving it was crazy hot, but with your mother in the same center - it's just one of those things. A bit like in Leeds with the girl at the next table. Can't happen. Not meant to happen. The air was freezing cold on the drive back. Didn't wear a coat. Quite beautiful.  No idea what happened after that. Probably just food and sleep.

18)The frost adds a nice new dimension to running. The track by the canal is like a springboard where you can bounce and it's good on your joints. The cold air pumps in and you feel cleansed and the landscape has helped. Recollection of running outside in the snow in Beverley and coming back and picking up Simba. Beautiful memories.

19)Preliminary interview with a Belgian company. A reunion with Microsoft. It went well. She was very eloquent. No checking of the reference necessary. Same time The British Council get in touch with a fucking thorough referencing method. Screening, vetting, scrutiny. Will I stand up to the task? Or will I fall? Are there some whack references. This along with the salesy Luke Shepherd thing last week to grow my own biz seems a bit incongrous.

20) A fucking nutball experience after having so long without booze Another personal record of 20 days and then the major thirst. With a trip to Chester coming tomorrow - I took the train to Manchester - thing is - meant to be meeting Wing and just went down the Sam Smith's avenue and kept talking to some nutball who said I was ''aggy'' too. Bad decision making from me to leave someone in the lurch - that's what happens when you crack open the thirst - shit goes down.

21) Saturday with whiskey oozing out of my pores. Down to the center of Todmorden. Nowhere to eat. Honest John full, The Pub - no food, The Golden Lion - DJ warming up with techno. Dub. Reggae. "What was that?'' proclaimed Owen, like he did for the country road he had to drive down in the snow. A couple of pints of IPA set me right and the food took fucking ages to cook. Still good to see him, and then a train to Chester. Same socially awkward Tristan but fun still. Must have done 7 pints and a right-old pub crawl including carrying Paris Hilton on my back, a karaoking Freddie Mercury esque bartender, a diner and not getting a 90 pound steak.... eventful enough and done befor 12pm. Result.

22) After zero hours of sleep. Zero - it was up and Adam -  or is it up and at them? - in Chester. I almost just typed Colchester, yes I've had two bottles of lager at the time of writing this - but what a great day with Tristan - cheese and onion sandwiches - a spot of shopping - mostly for him - but I did buy some poetry by Rumi, which I will make an effort to get into bed and read tonight, even if I'm on Feb 6th as I right this. Fuck it's hard to compartmentalise time.

23)Second time lucky in at the clinic. Had a different style conversation about teaching English in Qatar with the surgeon who was probaby trying to sell me the Islamic religion by justifying Cristiano Ronaldo movving there and Messi lifting the world cup but whetever. His boss was like a matron and seemed exasperated about what to do - whether it's best to operate or not and while I'm not exactly flummoxed by it - I come out of it split 50/50.

24)New dog, new puppy. Afraid cat. Much ado. There's talk on the TV now about recessions. The world feels fucked, but at least we got a puppy. Honestly feeling like I'm just keeping myself at bay. The pandemic has really changed the way we live. We're so seperatist and I'm not sure if it's the right thing/ There's literally no sense of fucking community.

25) The CERAN training started today. And bam! In was Eoghan, Owen from Ames - so cool to see him too on Camera. Company seemed alright, with its own specific methods and good to be alongside some fellow new-starters. But the truth of the tale is that I need more hours and I hope they provide - it's taken a while for things to get rolling this year - but at least things feel stable.

26) I love the fade on Google Calendar when another lesson has been completed. Another session done and dusted. Another slab of mince browned off. It's the same before a lesson - it's another one cracked open like a nice can of cold lager. Session after session - another bill settled, another one - let's keep the momentum - keep the cashflow coming in - you'll never be a rich man, but you're doing a job you like so it's something.

27) New music Friday and a nice new release from Complete Mountain Almanac - chamber-folk. We've had a good haul this month with John Cale and Lucas Santtana. Nice variety - take it slow, take it easy. I so much look forward to Friday - it's like a highlight of the week - a feeling that we're culminating in something as a reward after a week of graft and such.

28)Nice meal in an Italian restaurant. No el boozo. Just food. Beef Carpaccio. Veal and pasta and tiramisu. Not bad. Felt the love from holding Toby the twin. Love that kid. Rowan next time.Grandparents seemed a bit quiet, Grandma had a few wines and everyone else soft drinks. Can't remember what I did after that - but probably just chilled and watched happy valley.

29) Was in bed sick all day after having shitty sleep and a fucking awful cough, so watched Happy Valley in bed. Great gripping show - I should check out the reviews for shit like this more often because it's gripping and a decent reality check. Been filmed near here; it's authnetic and it shits me up when I walk by the canal and see a barge, especially if there's a criminal sitting on it with a tub of paraffin.

30) It feels to me that sitting, watching TV is such s fucking waste of time. Maybe it is a good way to chill after doing a hard day's grind. Maybe it gives some regularity and security. Maybe it's a cosy trap though. Maybe it wastes time - I really don't know - maybe it's companionship - it's not a criticism of anyone - just not my bag - can't spend my hours doing that.

31)Training complete today. Done with information overload. Done. Need more hours. Need more cash. I'm hungry for more and I'm gonna make this paragraph short. The mince has been browned...